What To Do In This Potentially Dangerous Situation?

I remember this one time when I was a kid when my dad was taking us to pick up donuts from Krispy Kreme in Baton Rouge. After coming out of the donuts shop, a kind of raggedy looking man approached us (my dad, my brother, my sister, and I) in the parking lot and asked my dad if he had any change to spare. The guy had his hand on the inside of his jacket as if he were hiding something in it the whole time. My dad wisely said sure and gave him some change in an effort to protect his children and the man accepted the change and went away. I had thought that the guy was creepy looking and that it was strange of that guy to ask my dad that because it wasn't like we looked like we were rolling in the doe or anything. I am glad that my dad handled this situation well and used his street smarts to keep us safe. However, this situation got me to wonder, what if something like this happened to a woman? What if the man was hiding a gun in his jacket and attacked the woman? What do you think that the best way for a woman to handle this situation would be if she could not gather up all 3 of her kids in time to run back into the donuts shop and get away? I guess she could try and scream. Maybe she could toss some money away from herself?

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Comments (47)

  1. Munkyman

    Scream fire.

    February 12, 2016
    1. Munkyman

      if he actually grabs for you or produces a weapon kick him in the knee as hard as you can. Aim for the inside & kick to the outside, it may never work right again. A kick to the outside of the knee aimed to the inside will just knock him down & cause nearly no damage to prevent him from getting up.

      February 12, 2016
      1. tulakrystal

        Wouldn’t he shoot you if you did that? I heard of a story of a woman in that same city who was walking out of the grocery store to her car with her 2 children and a guy started to run at her with a baseball bat in an attempt to attack her.

        February 13, 2016
      2. tulakrystal

        That lady shot the guy with her gun, but with a guy asking for change, you don’t know if he’s going to attack you or not or if he’s just waiting for you to get closer to him.

        February 13, 2016
    2. tulakrystal

      I like this idea, but what if you are far away from the door shop in the parking lot, the children aren’t very close to you (3 of them, 2 a few meters away while they were going to the car), and there aren’t very many people near by? This was the situation with my dad.

      February 13, 2016
  2. Munkyman

    It’s funny because this is very nearly exactly one of the study scenarios in the concealed carry class I took.
    As soon as you engage the person begging in any way you have severely limited your legal options for self defense. Just speaking to them to say “I have none” can be argued as an aggravating circumstance. If he pukes on you & you push him away you engaged in escalation of the incident. Yet as a woman perception is on your side in any altercation with a man.

    February 12, 2016
    1. tulakrystal

      The legal issues in that situation sound scary even if you’re a woman.

      February 13, 2016
  3. Nightbane
    in public: shove the children behind you with loud command to go inside and get help NOW, keep your eyes on the individual, begin backing into shop, if he dunt give way or makes any move towards you, keeping backing into the shop and scream as loud as you can, the people there will help.

    in less public, same scenario otherwise: shove children behind you/ away from him with command to get help NOW, keep eyes on him, tell him leave you alone. If he dunt, try to keep eyes on him and him out of reach. if you have sumamt to dash in his eyes use it, dirt, salt, coffee, cola drink, pepper spray on key chain, contents of tin of oven cleaner in handbag, what have you. Do not move towards him, try to evade him with lateral movements and rearward movements. Keep eyes on him at all times if possible.
    Unless the children are babes in arms or very little still, is good idea to have drills on what to do in case of such occurence.

    You father was wise in knowing a little subtly enforced ( real or only intimated ) charity was a good call and the best way to resolve that situation in the given moment and circumstances. I would and have done same when with others or only in company of very likely blokes. I am a dangerous creature but prefer no avoidable risk to children and non – combatants for measly handful change.
    besides, i can usually find the bastard later and consider best consequence for the implied threat you perceived with his hand being in jacket during his demand.

    February 12, 2016
    1. Munkyman

      Let me clue you people there may not help, they may actually lock the door with you outside.

      February 12, 2016
      1. Nightbane

        remarkable customs your countrymen… if actually so, very good point.

        February 12, 2016
        1. Munkyman

          sad to say I’ve not only seen it but, experienced it.
          Some don’t want to get involved.
          Some are afraid for themselves.
          Some fear the legal issues if anyone is actually hurt in their business.

          February 12, 2016
          1. tulakrystal

            Very true. There have been studies done where a woman was attacked and repetitively stabbed until she died and no one helped her even though there were a lot of people around.

            February 13, 2016
      2. Nightbane

        I do not imply I doubt your word, is only incredible to me what you describe.

        February 12, 2016
        1. Munkyman

          blew my mind when it happened, talk about a crash course in human nature.

          February 12, 2016
          1. Nightbane

            Unbloodyreal……

            February 12, 2016
          2. Nightbane

            Forgive me if I say is a happy me I live not in your country.

            February 12, 2016
            1. Munkyman

              You know I sometimes wonder about where else I’d live. It’s not all over, it’s more common in cities & more common still in areas that experience more violent crime. There are places where It wouldn’t happen & quite the opposite several guns would poke out & put a quick end to the issue… without a shot.

              February 12, 2016
            2. tulakrystal

              I lived in a city in a part of the country that had the highest murder rate in the country when I was a kid.

              February 13, 2016
    2. Nightbane

      Has typos, was distracted int he middle and left out half sentence.
      " I would and have done same when with others or only in company of very likely blokes. "
      Would and have done same with others who are non – combatants. Is a bit different when alone or only in company of very likely blokes*
      Apologies for confusion and mess.

      February 12, 2016
      1. tulakrystal

        Ah, it’s ok. I didn’t have any difficulty understanding what you wrote.

        February 13, 2016
    3. tulakrystal

      Munkyman is right, people may not help. I don’t think that my father would have been able to shove all three of us behind him and we were about the ages of 8,9, and 10 years old. 2 of us were a few meters away as we were going towards the car at the time and we were not close to the entrance of the donut shop or any other place that we could run to. I like your advice about throwing dirt in an attacker’s eyes, though. I am glad that my father chose to give the guy the money. Some pocket change really isn’t worth risking one’s life or the life of one’s children over. I think that, even though the guy asking for the money looked kind of tough, my dad might have been able to defend himself from that guy if he did attack him too, though. My dad had been trained in self-defense before.

      February 13, 2016
      1. Nightbane

        as I said, yer dad had the right of it, especially in light of the statistic you quote.
        i’ve been trying not ot say it but all this incredible stuff you’d been saying about the population at large letting poeple be murdered on the common street is really summat could happen only in America, fer fuck’s sake.

        February 13, 2016
      2. Nightbane

        Having said that, I’’m aware it does happen other places but most of those it will be summat like a the entire village is of one faith and the victim is a stray member another philosophy/faith ( or schism of same, for that matter, ) the two groups having been at each others’ throats quite literally for some long time now ( such as Hindu and Sikh, for instance.) Sometimes is not way of being but nationality or tribe ( Tutsie and Hutu, for instance, or some Americans since Civil War in places on BOTH sides of Mason/Dixon line )
        these I understand as far as any may ( I know the cause but do not understand why the two can’t just leave off and go to their neutral corners, get on about their own bloody business their own ways, ffs. ) but what you two describe? Inbloodyfuckingcredible.
        Oh, wait, You’re talking NYC, Chicago, L.A. ?

        February 13, 2016
        1. tulakrystal

          There are more dangerous places than Baton Rouge (one of the smaller cities in the United States of America) and New Orleans in Louisiana. However those places are usually in some areas of Australia, Mexico, or Africa. I know that Detroit is a city in the USA that currently has a higher crime rate than the cities of New Orleans and Baton Rouge. However, Baton Rouge or New Orleans still has a higher crime rate than Tijuana, Mexico. I think that most places in Europe, Canada, Britain, and Japan are all much safer, though.

          February 15, 2016
  4. funfreak

    Well, I’ve lived in the city and so have my children. Philadelphia, New York, Boston, San Diego and Los Angeles. And you know what? There are a lot of really kind, caring people living in those cities. Each neighborhood operates like a small community as they see each other every day walking the dog, going to the mailbox, walking their kids to school, and cleaning up the streets after a storm, etc. The reality is that in the city, people are used to seeing homeless people and are not so guarded about helping them. They understand that many homeless people are depressed or mentally ill or suffering from substance abuse. If you walk by someone often enough to recognize them, you are moved to give them your doggie bag from the lunch you just came from or money for coffee and a donut. I’ve even given women and children blankets I no longer needed who sat on floors in the train station. Most homeless people do not have guns for all the obvious reasons. They don’t have cars either……or jobs…..mostly for the same reasons. If we become familiar with the homeless problem in our country, it dispels the myths that they are people to fear.

    February 12, 2016
    1. tulakrystal

      I’m not sure why that guy was holding his arm in his jacket across his chest like he had a gun, but this city that I grew up in had the highest murder rate in the nation at the time and things are always a bit chaotic after hurricanes there. I’d lived through several hurricanes over there. I don’t think that anyone in our family was fearful or lacked an understanding of the homeless, but this guy was acting in a suspicious manner. Also, there wasn’t anyone close by in this situation. We were in a parking lot, far from the entrance of the donut shop with the three children a few meters away from my dad going towards the car.

      February 13, 2016
      1. funfreak

        When someone behaves in such a way to make you feel as though danger is immanent, then it’s your obligation to remove yourself from the situation or do whatever you can to protect your children. I made my comment because it bothers me when people who live in the city are misunderstood and misrepresented by people who think that living in the suburbs or the country automatically makes one a more caring and responsible citizen.

        February 13, 2016
        1. tulakrystal

          You’re comment seemed like it could have negative connotations to it regarding my post. I have noticed that people in the country or suburbs seem to have a false sense of security. However, my post was not addressing that issue. It was about a specific situation and the proper thing to do in self-defense. In this situation, we could not quickly remove ourselves from a situation where someone behaved in a way in which it made all 4 of us feel as though danger was immanent.

          February 15, 2016
          1. funfreak

            Yes, I can understand why you all felt that way. You father was probably quite aware of the possible severity of that situation.

            February 16, 2016
            1. tulakrystal

              My father is good at being on the look out for things like that.

              February 17, 2016
  5. yayuki

    I often meet people asking for money for phone, food, train…. the all look strange but they normally just leave when you tell them you have none… I ‘ve never heard of someone attacked by one of them. Usually they just live by begging for money. If they were attacking people they would get into trouble with the police and that is something they’d like to avoid. I haven’t seen you guy though… sometimes the atmosphere is a bad one and can easily go boom… The best often is to hurry to your car and drive off. If someone produces a weapon one should try to judge the character, some people get irritated if you try to leave them, some people get irritated if you don’t… The best is to act by instinct I guess. Generally just keep the attention on you and keep the kids out of gunline. Watch out for onlookers get them to call help, police or orderlies or whoever is responsible for this area…

    February 13, 2016
    1. tulakrystal

      We didn’t mistake this situation for being more dangerous than it was. The guy had his hand in the inside of his jacket like he was hiding a gun in there. Most people that I’ve seen begging for money before did not do that. My father could not hurry to the car and drive off with the three of us either even though he told us to get in the car. My dad had spoken to a police officer about that and the police officer said that it could be best to carry some change in 1 pocket and mace in the other. Then, the person should keep their eyes on the guy the whole time and not dig in their purse. After that, they can give them the change. If the pull a weapon on them they could spray them in the eyes with the mace and get away.

      February 15, 2016
      1. yayuki

        Sounds logical, but would it really be possible to be faster?

        February 18, 2016
        1. tulakrystal

          I think it would.

          February 22, 2016
          1. yayuki

            Maybe. I can think of positive and negative results but the chances might be good enough to try… I think I would under the given sircumstances in the presence of danger felt

            February 26, 2016
            1. tulakrystal

              March 07, 2016
  6. GoldenPig2012

    Well, I, mostly, concur with Munkyman. I’m a woman. I have children. If something like that happened to me…….I would shove my children behind me, tell them to go back inside and ask for help. Then, I’d get LOUD, raucous, even, draw attention from everyone possible. Period. AS I backed inside, too. I will and have given to those who ask, just strangers on the sidewalk, but………….I want to see your hands at all times.

    February 16, 2016
    1. tulakrystal

      My father could not shove the 3 of us behind him because we weren’t close enough to him to do that. We could not go back inside or back into the shop because the entrance to the shop was located around the corner, we were not close enough to it, and it wasn’t behind us. We could not yell for help or draw anyone’s attention because it was early in the morning when this guy approached us and no one else was around. I think that a person who is asking for money should have their hands in the open at all times as well.

      February 17, 2016
      1. GoldenPig2012

        Your father did the best thing available to him and I’m SO glad no harm was done to any of you.

        February 17, 2016
        1. tulakrystal

          Thank you.

          February 22, 2016
  7. samhill

    You could offer to buy him some donuts and briskly walk back into the donut shop with the group. The only draw back is that there is not always a donut shop around when you need onem

    February 17, 2016
    1. tulakrystal

      What if that irritated him? After all, he was asking for money, not donuts or food.

      February 17, 2016
      1. samhill

        He asked for “spare change” not your fathers wallet.

        February 17, 2016
        1. tulakrystal

          Spare change is money.

          February 22, 2016
          1. samhill

            True, although the man was asking for a hand out. I don’t believe he was a threat to anybody. If he were a thief he would have probably broken into a car for what he could see as having value. Now a strung out yonkie might be something different who would be despertate dependent on his predisposition towards crime. Even a recovering user knows this to be a statement of fact. Now you have fully sober young men and women who do as they are told that have to take orders by killing perfect strangers abroad, and that concerns me far more than a guy who is down on his luck.

            February 23, 2016
            1. tulakrystal

              He may have been down on his luck, but he should not have been approaching us with his hand in his jacket like he had a gun in it. That is suspicious behavior, even according to the police officers that we talked to about it.

              February 26, 2016
    2. tulakrystal

      Also what about the kids who would not reach the donut shop in time if something happened?

      February 17, 2016